I will take you from “Why Parenting is Hard” to “Why Parenting Hard”.
There are lots of parenting tips coming online these days. Everyone is sharing their experience and trying to find the perfect way to nurture their child and shaping a perfect future. I respect all individual thoughts and appreciate the effort they are taking sharing their valuable inputs.
Here I will not question any individual observer, his /her thoughts and opinions over parenting. Here I will also not talk about what we need to do and what not with our children, rather I will try to go little deeper and understand what is natural.
To start with, taking an example of a potter, do you think a potter can make a pot with any clay? Certainly not and he need to choose his clay carefully to make the best pot. So a potter needs to depend upon the clay, the wheel and other material to make a perfect pot. And after getting the perfect clay, with the setup right there, it’s just an effortless process for the potter to make a perfect pot. It’s not that other clay are just useless; they have their own importance and are useful for other things.
So what exactly we are talking here. We are talking here about the intrinsic value of the clay. Whereas one clay is perfect for Pots, the others not, and if you want to make a pot out of that “not so suitable clay”, it will just not work. As a potter has got a choice, as parent you don’t. If you are a potter, you need to find the perfect clay. If you already got the clay, you are already in a particular job. If you are looking for the answer as what job you should be in to make the best of the clay available with you, you are on a wrong path. You have got your clay naturally, be true to your nature and the clay will take it shape.
With your children, you already got the clay. And everyone gets the perfect child. Every child has got its own intrinsic value. The child came in this world because of the biological condition of their parents. You as a parent provided the perfect environment to bring that child in this world without having much control on it, than how do you think that you can control their future just with few behavioural changes. All children are not the same because they born with different biological conditions and that’s why every child has their own intrinsic value which is directly related to their parents and the environment they live in. Maintaining your true self and the natural environment is what required letting your child grow what they meant to be. Forcing unnatural behavior and environment can nothing but hamper the natural growth of your children.
Making a general statement that we should teach this and that to our child, we should behave in a certain manner has no meaning at all. It’s like going by the rule that we should first water the ground before sowing the seed and not knowing that you have a plant which grows with a very little moisture already available with the soil. Extra watering can just hamper the natural growth of your plant.
Who don’t want apple in their garden, but you can grow apple only under particular environment and that’s also without any extra effort. But trying to grow apple with an unfavourable environment will take lots of effort and chances are there that it will give you a tree without any fruit.
With your child, you have a sapling in your hand which has grown because of your natural being. You are the soil, sun and water to your sapling child. Be yourself as that’s the only best condition for your sapling to grow naturally and bore the required fruit.
If you want to love your children, just love, don’t think what it will make your children because that’s your nature and best for your child.